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You Found What On the Floor?

Courtesy of Kotaku

As a kid, there are few things that made your stomach sink like it did when you heard your parents utter three dreadful words.

“Clean your room.”

Sometimes we abided at that very moment. But if you were like me, sometimes you pushed it off just for a little bit. And the only thing to come with pushing your luck was a profound existential dread of them coming back to your room to find you’ve added to the pile of junk that’s been accumulating your personal gaming arena. 

Clean Your Room
Courtesy of Simpson’s World, Giphy

While that may have been a passable strategy in the past, it just won’t fly anymore.

Having your own video game oasis is splendid. It’s uniquely designed to your desires, it has the right seat setting, on-point lighting, and enough space for sustenance. Since it’s one of our most sacred spaces, it should be treated as such.

South Park Nerd
Courtesy of, Giphy

With that being said, let’s jump into the mission objectives which will help keep your haven in apple-pie order.

Courtesy of Tobycooke

Objective 1: Eliminate Clutter

The more time you spend in a certain place, the more “things” you accumulate. Adding posters, amiibos, new games and controllers, pictures, and whatever else you fancy is all well and good, but there are some things that shouldn’t take up permanent residence. Before you fire up that console or PC, take a moment to survey your real estate and rid it of anything that doesn’t need to stay. Recycle the old Mountain Dew bottles. Dump the pizza boxes. Take dishes to the kitchen (wash them because, hey, be responsible.) Even old equipment that isn’t being used can go. Clearing your space of unnecessaries offers a more comfortable setting and reduces the risk of any potential accidents or hazards — like spilling soda on your brand new keyboard. Don’t be a hoarder, it’s unbecoming. 

Cleaning cool
Courtesy of Cartl, Giphy

Objective 2: Dust down, dust down, dust down

If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that keepin’ it clean means keepin’ it safe. You know as well I do that gaming equipment doesn’t come cheap. So why not give your investment the TLC it deserves? Using a duster — the fuzzy one with a handle and the air can blaster — deters any buildup which could bog down your equipment resulting in a nasty, even costly, breakdown (both of yourself and console.) Follow that up with a quick wipedown and disinfectant and you’re in good shape. And while you’re at it, give your disks a delicate polishing – lord knows that’s a crown jewel you don’t want to lose. Germs are not your friend so don’t let them live rent-free. 

Fresh Prince
Courtesy of Tumblr, Giphy

Objective 3: Activate the Vacuum 

Eating while gaming is the nature of the beast. Seriously, how many times have you conned yourself into thinking, “one more mission and I’ll take a food break.” Too many times, that’s how many. And how many times is the “break” simply a retrieval of snacks and a return to your lair? I know, I’ve been there. Eating whilst gaming inevitably results in lingering crumbs and food chunks landing on your floor. To avoid any ravenous rodents catching the scent of what we gamers call “fuel,” haul your vacuum in regularly and spiffen up the place. Not only will the aesthetics look sharp but you won’t have to worry about any potential health hazards from allergens or mold build-up. Or worse, what this guy had growing in his room.

I get it. Cleaning can be a nuisance. But staying on a schedule and freshening up now and then is key. You may even find it cathartic. So respect your space because you’ve put in the time and money to make it your own. No one enjoys hanging out in a messy room. And if it isn’t mother-approved, then it’s time for a little maintenance. 

Keep it high and tight, my friends!

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