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Ok, now that’s a long title: A Whirlwind Heist

From the creator of The Stanley Parable, one of my favorite choice-based games, comes the beautiful disaster of Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist (yes, that is the full title of the game, and not a song title from Panic! At the Disco). The game’s completely free-to-play, so what’s the harm in trying a heist? Or, ‘what’s the harm in working on a heist.’ ‘Working on a game about a heist.’ All these clarifications are because everyone in the game is on strike. Don’t believe me? Here’s the short description on Steam:

“A 15 minute heist game by Crows Crows Crows & Directed by William Pugh (The Stanley Parable). Slip into the soft-soled shoes of the mastermind responsible for the greatest heist- oh god I can’t do this any more, i’m joining the strike. good luck writing the steam description.”

Whirlwind Heist
Courtesy of Crows, Crows, Crows

We get a little more context in the larger game description lower on the page, where the unknown ‘tina’ explains her gripes with the management of the game, stating: 

“…oh god I can’t do this any more, i’m joining the strike. i didn’t want to – i honestly didn’t want to, but it’s gone too far

i’m supposed to be writing the steam store description and that’s it, that’s my job, but because of the understaffing i’ve been told i need to work in the lighting department too and it’s only a matter of time before i’m re-assigned to wildlife preparation

and everybody knows that working for wildlife preparation is mostly about trying very hard not to be eaten by the tiger

so that’s it, i’m joining the picket. if they want somebody else to finish the description, that’s their problem

i’m out.

– tina”

Soooo… what can you expect in this game? As these descriptions hint, this game is chock-full of character and story, and not just the story advertised on the tin. 

Whirlwind Heist
Courtesy of Crows, Crows, Crows

Instead, you’ll be roaming around the ‘backstage’ of the game, as another player is actually playing. Considering how short-staffed the director is at the moment, he’ll ask you to help out backstage by getting a player squared away in the game so you can play! Just turn these valves: oh, not those ones, there we go; and we’ll get you in the game in no time. There definitely is a game. Totally. 

With hilarious voice work from Justin Roiland (voice of Rick, Morty, and various others from Rick & Morty), and the shear ridiculousness of the premise that a game would be a live production similar to theatre, Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist is well worth your time to download and try out. If this is what making a game is like, maybe the player should join the strike as well. 

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